The Body Wins: Tri and Thyroid: The Wisconsin Ironman Thyroid Supplement

I have spent much of my life as a social constructionist. I have believed that "that which we take as real is real in its consequences," that reality is a social product, that how we make sense of even corporeal reality---like race, sex, gender, sexuality--shapes and creates that reality.

My thyroid is teaching me that this is, in some measure, bullfeathers.

The last few weeks have been difficult. I have been trying to do what I am supposed to do, according to my training plan, but my tail has been dragging and my attitude has been poor. Sleep has been difficult and strange when it comes, and my ability to fulfill my ambitions of rising early, getting on the bike or the pool, and starting my day with movement have been all but impossible to fulfill. I have been able to train late in the day, but have been disappointed with my paces, even with hard effort. I have had some good days, but have continued to be concerned that although I now believe I can do these distances, I am not fast enough to do them by the cut-offs. Two weeks ago, after bailing out of HellBrick, I sat in my car and wept with frustration after a friend asked "How did it go?" I hadn't had the juju to finish, I hadn't been able to keep up, and I hadn't been able to get as far up Blue Mound as I had at Horribly Hilly two months ago. And I am not a person who believes that is worth crying over. Honestly. But there I was, inconsolable and asking, "What am I not getting here?'' Is it dropping the weight, eating differently, training differently, different equipment (this I have ruled out, since I own the DIVA!), or just attitude? I have worked on all of these things, and still can't ride the bike like the other kids. What am I not getting?

Thyroid supplement.

I should have known.

It's a little organ, but it seems to run the show. I had a phase like this in the winter, where I would burst into tears on the spin bike or the elliptical after 45 minutes or so, even though the only time I felt good was on the bike or the elliptical. Labs showed that my thyroid was out-of-control. I'd had this corrected and things improved. My last labs, back in June, were where they should be. Yesterday, concerned about my attitude and energy, I asked for a CBC and a thyroid panel, expecting the former to be suspicious and the thyroid actually to be fine. Wrong-O, MaryLou. Out of whack again.

The good news: I have an explanation, and something can be done about it. The bad news: it's going to take four weeks.

The question becomes: what will be the impact of training hard on a half-functioning thyroid when the levels return to normal, when 'training hard" on a half-thyroid is nothing like training hard well?

I used to think that the thyroid was only about having a little slower metabolism and a tendency toward dry skin. I have learned over the years that it gets the credit for a whole host of other things: energy, mood, attitude, memory, libido, sleep, hair, cholesterol, even. Still, IM training has brought my appreciation to a whole new level, and given me a new set of signs and symptoms to watch for. If I see myself having a meltdown after a ride (I love riding, so should not be crying!), I need to say to myself: "Hey, have you had your thyroid checked?"

Beyond this, I have learned two new and interesting things about the thyroid recently:

1) The wild fluctuations in mine could be a result of using generic medication to treat it. It turns out that the generics are made by multiple companies, and that the local pharmacy buys its supplies month to month from the lowest bidder, so that the generic I have this month may be made by a different manufacturer than the one I had in June...and they are all slightly different...and slight differences make a big difference to the thyroid. So--as of today, I will insist on the brand name stuff, as an endocrinologist recently advised me to do.

2) When I am "over supplemented" by medical standards, I feel like what I imagine thyroid-normal people,feel like in their regular lives: energetic, optimistic, happy. Being slightly over-supplemented brings its own risks, however---for example, of bringing on a heart attack. It's a fine line to walk. I was "over supplemented" slightly by medical standards for the first time last fall, and I felt fine, fab, functional. It brings up real quality of life issues. I've always been big on not doing risky things, but in this moment, I'm beginning to lean toward taking the risks associated with running very close to that line, once I get back there, because it allows me to run at all.

It is hard to accept this thing as a disability, but it clearly is one. Having knowledge of it, what I do with it---including defining it as a disability--- is my choice, obviously, but it would appear that the joke in some ways is on me: the body ultimately wins.

Will she try Ironman Wisconsin? Stay tuned.